VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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