theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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