I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
