Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
