I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
