Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
