I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
