You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
