just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
