Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
