i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
