His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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