Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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