i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
