his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
