wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
