That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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