Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
