You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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