you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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