Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
