If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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