No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize