Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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