It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
