the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
