thus making me awesome and them whores
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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