This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
