I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
