If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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