He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
