if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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