So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They took my balls.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
