I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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