what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
