why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
