Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
