my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do vagina's smell?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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