Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
