this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
