It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have aggressive nipples.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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