No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
