But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
