Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
These tits shall not be calmed
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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