She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
