I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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