you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
