So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
