can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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