One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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