btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
