there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
false alarm, still single
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
