Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
