People in love make me want to vomit
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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