I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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