that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
