I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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