What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
well you can't waste a boner
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
how drunk are you?
Several
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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