Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
