Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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