The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
