Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
