i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
