Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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