i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
