plz talk dirty to me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
