i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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