He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
