Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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