Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
