Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize