Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
